Things Change

I loveed being a kid, as im sure as most of us did. Childhood was the easiest we've ever had it. School was easy, making friends was easy. We didn't have to do anything for ourselves. Now im not an expert on life. Ive only lived 17 years of it, but this past year has shown me the prospects of adult life and to be quite honest its scared me shitless.

 I, like some people my age, decided to leave school after i had achieved my first lot of qualifications. I had never planned to leave after doing a mere four years in secondary school, but that's just how things worked out. I had always planned on staying till my sixth year, getting Highers and then going off to Uni. But for some reasons, i may go into in another post, that hasn't quite happened. Its not that im unhappy. I have a job and hobbies that keep me busy- This Blog is to be another of those hobbies- i have friends that i love to bits.

If i had the choice now to go back to school, i dont think i would. Even if it means i have to re-think some of my goal in life.

But it's the little things that really start to scare me. Like the fact that later on this year one of my best friends will be leaving home and going to uni miles and miles away from me. Then the year after that it will be my other best friend. I think what scares me is the fact that i dont want to be the only one left. I would rather i was the one moving away to do the things i wanted. I know, selfish.

 But after being the older one of all my friends im just not ready to grow up, not ready to have to face up to the responsibility of life itself.

Did anyone else ever feel like that?

Im not saying that im a lazy child and depend on my parents for everything. Im just saying its all forced on us a little quickly. From 12 to 14 we are still treated like children even though we feel as if we are old enough to do anything. Then at 15/16 we are expect to act maturely and like adults although no one really sees us that way, and then suddenly BAM were applying for Uni and sitting our exams. We HAVE to at least get a Christmas job, and threats are made, by parents, to start charging rent. Its all thrusted on us so quickly that we dont even have a chance to decide where we really want to go in life.

I, for one, changed my mind loads before i really decided what i want to do. At school i wanted to do drama, go to London and preform in the west end. Then when i decided to leave, it was really a race against the clock. Ive never ever been 100% sure on what i want to do. All i know is it will never be sat behind a desk. I've never imagined myself anywhere too intellectual. Not that im not smart, im just far more 'hands on'. Anyway, after a lot of though (some hovering over Hospitality) i have finally come to a conclusion. Why not go study something i practically study at home?

Beauty.

So now life isn't seeming too frightful. I have my 'head in the game' as so to speak and the prospect of it all doesn't seem to bad now. I can finally see some light at the end of the teenage years tunnel.

But just one more final question before i finish this post. Even though im still young, some people may still even think of me as a child, is there anyone willing to leave some advice? Something that might reassure me that im not the only one who has felt scared about all these changes.